Ep 31: Why You Should Learn Detachment During the Holidays

Your partner is feeling sad about something that happened at work. Your friend is worried about something. For some reason, you can’t stop thinking about it — you feel a need to jump in and help. You’ve probably experienced feeling attached to other people’s situations. But if you put your attention and emotion to others, you may forget to take care of yourself, which is why you should learn detachment.

In today’s episode, I will talk about Melody Beattie’s concept of detachment and codependency. I will discuss the tools to break the habit of being in other people’s business and why your business is the only one you should be focusing on.

Are you tired of fixing other people’s behavior and problems? Listen to the full episode to learn the importance of taking care of yourself before others.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

1. Learn how to break the cycle of codependency.
2. Discover why your business is the only thing that matters.
3. What is the importance of detachment to weight loss?

Mentioned in the Episode

• Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

Episode Highlights

Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More

• Melody Beattie defines codependency as a situation where a person is deeply affected and obsessed with another person’s behavior.
• Women often think they have more control than they have, which creates a lot of stress.
• To break codependency, a person must detach from other people’s business.
• Detachment in Buddhism refers to seeing both sides without reacting and being emotional. It’s all about being an observer.

On Detachment

• Melody Beattie defines detachment as the release or disengagement from a person or problem with love — mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.
• Many of us are often in other people’s business.
• The only three types of business we can be in are ourselves, other people, and God’s. Our own business is the only one that we have any right to be handling.
• We cannot attend to our feelings and business when we are attached to other people’s affairs. Detachment allows us to take care of our problems.
• We tend to be in other people’s problems because it gives us an escape from solving our issues.

Why You Should Learn Detachment

• When we’re attached to other people and their problems, we tend to ignore our well-being because we’re too busy taking care of everyone else.
• Detachment allows us to take care of ourselves and attend to our feelings.
• When people are honoring themselves, they tend to take care of their physical bodies. It includes eating right, sleeping well, exercising, etc.
• As the holiday season approaches, honor yourself instead of solving other people’s problems. Detach with love and stay in the only business that matters — your business.

5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode

“The only business that you have any right being in is your own business, your own mind.”

“When we’re attached, or in other people’s business, we cannot attend to the only thing that can really change anything. And that’s our own feelings or our own business.”

“I think we like being in other people’s problems so much, because it keeps us away from our own.”

“When we’re attached to other people in their problems, we tend to ignore our own mental well being and physical well being, because we’re too busy taking care of everyone else.”

“Now, what I have found is that when one is honoring their feelings, they also tend to honor their physical body as well — eating beautiful healthy foods, getting wonderful sleep, meditating, exercising, or playing, just to name a few.”

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Thanks for listening!

To transforming your life for good,

Dr. Deb