Ep 168 How to Maintain a 100 Pound Weight Loss with Julie

Thinner Peace in Menopause, Weight Loss and Beyond, Episode 168

Dr. Deborah Butler: Welcome to Thinner Peace and Menopause and Beyond. This is Dr. Deb Butler, master life and weight coach. And as always, your coach. Today is episode number 168. I got a treat for you. Stay tuned.

Hi everybody, how are you today? Wow, it’s such a beautiful day. It’s almost getting to be the beginning of summer. Yay! I love summer. I love warm weather. I love all the things I can do in the summer. And I’m also really excited because I am going with my son, and my daughter, and my two grandchildren, and my husband Michael. We are going to Portugal in July and we are going to the Azore Islands. I’m so excited. Anyway, I will talk to you more about that as it gets closer. I was just finishing up my trip, my plans for that. And I’m so excited.

But I digress a little bit, because really, I’ve got something so special for you today because I’ve got one of my clients on today. And I just have to tell you, every time I do this, how much love I have for this woman. And I know you hear me say this all the time. And I just, I just do. The work that she’s done on herself, the time that she’s put in for herself, and her aha moments, and just her awareness is unbelievable. And I so much want to share it with you because this has been such a journey for her. Because not only has she worked with me, she also did a lot of work on her own before she ever came to me. And actually lost over 100 pounds before I actually even started working with her.

And this journey, I really want you to hear it. Because what you’re going to see and hear from her is that, you know what, there’s losing weight and then there’s changing your mind around your weight and food. And they are not the same things. And you’re going to hear from Julie today. And she’s going to explain this to you in such a way that is going to be so profound for you. So please sit back and listen to this very special interview with Julie. And hey, at the end, I’ll get back on and I’ll say a few things. Enjoy.

Dr. Deb: Hi, Julie. Welcome to the podcast.

Julie: Hi, Dr. Deb.

Dr. Deb: It’s so good to talk to you again. Because Thursday has passed and Thursdays were our days where we did our coaching and you are no longer doing that with me because you have graduated.

Julie: I have. But Thursday afternoon at our usual time I thought so fondly of you. And it gave me a perfect opportunity to reflect on the work that I had done during the week anyway, after I’ve graduated.

Dr. Deb: Yeah. So here’s like, there’s so many things that I want to cover with you. And every single session that I had with you, I felt like it was an aha moment for me as a coach. Every single session, not one, all of them. So it’s like, where I think I want to start is how you decided to reach out to me for coaching. Because your story is really different than anybody else that I’ve coached so far. So I think that your story and, you know that you’ve lost a lot of weight to begin with before you ever found me is going to resonate with so many people, because you lost like 100 pounds before you found me, right?

Julie: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Dr. Deb: And that is astounding in itself. And I think what I want our listeners to hear from you is that part of the journey was losing the weight and that there was another part that you were looking for.

Julie: Oh, that is just so true. As you share it, I’ve lost over 100 pounds. And what had happened was one morning I woke up and I had trouble with a knee. And I realized that my life needed to change. So I had an amazing doctors during that period of time. And my physical therapist looked at me and she said, “You need to become an active woman.” And my orthopedic doctor referred me to a weight doctor. And both of them said, “You need to be at a normal weight. If we’re going to do anything with your knee ever, you’re going to be at a normal weight.” And I had been morbidly obese my entire adult life. As a child, I was overweight. But as an adult, it was a huge struggle. So what’s interesting is that it was January of 2014.

Dr. Deb: And do you mind sharing with everybody how old you were when you started?

Julie: That would have been me at 56.

Dr. Deb: Okay.

Julie: I’m 60 now.

Dr. Deb: Okay.

Julie: Well, now, everyone’s going to check my math and know that my math is off, and it’s all good. We don’t have to be perfect in math. This is about changing our minds not doing math, right.

Dr. Deb: But I think what I want everybody just to relate to is that most of the people who are listening are around this age and around that age. So it’s like, they’re all going, “Hmm, interesting.”

Julie: Yeah. And it’s post menopause. And the thing is, we think we’ll never be able to change, that this is something we have to live with the rest of our lives. And I’m talking for myself, I don’t know if I can talk for anyone else. But people I’ve talked to I’ve heard this before, too. And what was so fascinating is that I decided that day in January, that I could eat what I thought was healthy, but only eat in a way that I knew I could sustain for the rest of my life.

I tried many diets through my life. Successfully sometimes, not successful some other times. But none of them I was able to maintain weight loss for a period of time. And so, what was fascinating is that I used Weight Watchers as a support system during this time. And my leader kept looking at me because she had known me for years, I had come and gone and come and gone, the typical story. And she says, “What’s different this time, Julie?” And it took a lot of reflection for me. And then I’ve realized is, I had transformed my thinking in January. I had changed my mind that I had to diet, it was going to be hard. I have to exercise. It’s going to be hard. Two, I can eat in a way that’s healthy and sustaining for the rest of my life. And see where that takes me. And also, I can become more active.

And the physical therapist was so crucial in that period. Because during that period, being morbidly obese, having a knee problem, there’s so much pain, there’s also a fear that it was going to hurt myself more. But she was very encouraging. And we started walking 20 minutes on the treadmill, with a five minute warm up, and 10 minutes of walking, and a five minute cool down. And pretty soon within a year, I was walking over three miles with no pain.

And the other thing I realized, and it’s surprising I never knew this before, that how all the sugar we eat, and all the processed food we eat, and our poor diet has such a significant impact on our body, on our hunger, and our life.

Dr. Deb: And we’re going to get into that a lot.

Julie: Okay, because what I had at that time was I had insatiable hunger. And I don’t know if any of your listeners can relate to this.

Dr. Deb: Oh, I think they can.

Julie: I would eat a meal. And within a half hour or 40 minutes, I was starving again and I would sit there and think, “My goodness, I’ve already eaten a meal.” And so I knew sugar was bad. So I immediately, in that sustainable weight, eating, slashed my sugar.

Dr. Deb: And it really though, because I love that even before you even had a coach, you changed the way you thought about how you wanted to eat and how you wanted to see your life.

Julie: And I know now that that’s what transformed me. That’s what helped me lose 100 pounds.

Dr. Deb: Yeah, like not the diet per se. But the first you changed the way that you thought about how you wanted to do this, which was brilliant.

Julie: Well, and you know, you’re exactly right, because the change in my mind around sugar was I can have that. But when I have it, I’m going to enjoy it. And it’s your whole concept.

Dr. Deb: I know. I know. It’s like, “Hey, you were kind of like working with me without working with me.”

Julie: I know. So then that’s why every week was so fabulous because I was already engaged so fully into these concepts.

Dr. Deb: I know. So tell me, let’s fast forward a little bit. So you lost your weight. Things were good, I guess. And so what drew you to me, and my podcast, and then hiring me, because you’d already lost the weight?

Julie: I had. So you know, we’re about in 2017 now.

Dr. Deb: Okay, so about three years later.

Julie: Yep. And I was finding that maintenance was, I gain a little, I lose a little, I gained a little, I lose a little. And every book I picked up, every piece of information I looked at, that was a common scenario for people. And I thought, there’s got to be a better way to live than this. Because I’ve been listening to your podcast, and I had also read Michelle May’s book, Eat what You Love: Love What You Eat. And so I knew about naturally thin people, that they don’t gain and lose and gain and lose and gain and lose.

Dr. Deb: Do you know why you were gaining and losing?

Julie: Oh, now I know. It was all my thinking.

Dr. Deb: But what were you doing? Like what was causing that?

Julie: What was causing that was my thoughts were maintenance is going to be difficult. It’s going to be that again, and I lose.

Dr. Deb: Oh, you were thinking that already?

Julie: I was already thinking that.

Dr. Deb: I wonder.

Julie: No, of course. So we manifest our thinking, my goodness. And you know, the manifesting of thinking goes back in history way back.

Dr. Deb: Of course.

Julie: I mean, you know, one of my favorite sayings is Norman Vincent Peale, when he says, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” I mean, my goodness, our thinking just so much affects our entire life. And so, here it was, in this mindset of this difficulty of maintenance.

Dr. Deb: Thinking it was difficult, and so the way that you were treating food then was it like you were kind of, maybe overeating, under eating, overeating, under eating or like, what changed from when you were just losing weight?

Julie: Yeah, the big change was, I had realized that when I was losing weight, I really was in restriction mindset.

Dr. Deb: Okay.

Julie: I was in fear and I was in restriction. I was in fear that I have to lose this weight and I have to keep it off. So there was an underlying, and you helped me figure this out. I don’t know that we did it exactly in one of our coaching calls, but that there was this underlying fear. So I had these underlying thoughts that I may not keep it off, that this is going to be hard to keep off. Everyone that I read, takes it off, and gains weight, takes it off. And actually the doctor even looked at me and she said, “Julie, at some point, you are going to gain weight.” Not a helpful thought, right? I knew that there was a better way.

And I wanted to have, I wanted to be at peace with food. One of my favorite stories from one of your podcasters is about the butter cake. And when I heard that I thought, “I want what she has”. And I knew that from…

Dr. Deb: Let me refresh our listener. So there was the butter cake. And it was with a client. And one of the things that I gave her, because she said she couldn’t resist it. She couldn’t keep it in her house because she would eat the whole cake. This was on the podcast.

Julie: Yes.

Dr. Deb: Right. And then what happened is that she learned how to keep it in her house and didn’t care about it anymore and stopped and didn’t have anything with butter cake anymore.

Julie: Exactly. And food was just food and butter cake was just butter cake to her. And I think she ate a few, she ate a few, she ate maybe…

 

Dr. Deb: Yeah.

Julie: After a week, it sat in her house for a period of time. We don’t need to know the exact time. And I wanted that, I wanted to live the rest of my life free. And you know, before now, I really never thought that was possible. I live six. You know, now I’m at 60. So I’ve lived 60 years. And you think that these habits are so ingrained because we hear how hard it is to change habits. That the information that comes to us is how hard all of this is. And I want to tell you, you make it easy. And I love you for that.

Dr. Deb: Oh, thank you. And so, like probably the way that you lost your weight was with a lot of fear.

Julie: Yes.

Dr. Deb: Right. And I think even when we first started working, you have a lot of fear about gaining the weight back.

Julie: Yes, I did. And I shared that with you.

Dr. Deb: So that’s where we were when we first started.

Julie: Yes, it was.

Dr. Deb: Right. So tell me how that changed for you. Because this is so huge. Because if people understand what happened for you, because you’re not afraid anymore, I don’t think.

Julie: No, I’m fearless.

Dr. Deb: You’re fearless. Why are you fearless? I mean, this is so huge.

Julie: I am fearless. I know how to go that far. Well, you know, you’ve done so many, so many podcasts on the model. And I found the model fairly difficult for me to totally get my head wrapped around totally on my own.

Dr. Deb: Yes.

Julie: And, well, it’s a very simple concept. What I’ve come to realize is that you told me often that there’s sometimes you just need a coach, and what I’ve come to realize, and whether that’s a coach or a friend or something, is there…

Dr. Deb: There is a difference between a coach and a friend.

Julie: Oh, yeah, there’s a huge, oh, and we can talk about that too. Because that delayed me into coaching with you because a friend said, “Let’s coach each other” And I said, “Sure.” And we did it for a year and I realized, no, I need a real coach, and you are the real deal.

Dr. Deb: It sounds to me like you went from when we first started working you were really frightened of gaining your weight back, which is what so many people have that they’re so afraid that you’re going to gain it back. And now you say you know that you never will gain the weight back. And so, I mean, you. It sounds to me like you have a lot of confidence in yourself now and I want to know how that happened for you? Because I think other people would like to know.

Julie: Yeah. And I’ll tell you when I started with you, I wanted to know. So that’s what’s so exciting now is that I have gone from someone who is so scared of getting their weight back, because I was seeing my weight creep on.

Dr. Deb: That’s what was happening, right? Is that why you hired me? So can you tell me like so? The reason that you hired me is because you had that fear? And that you thought that what I was talking about, when I was talking about Thinner Peace, is that you wanted to have that peaceful feeling inside of you about knowing that you would never gain your weight back again. And knowing that food was just food, right? That’s what you were looking for.

Julie: Absolutely. Because I was at a point where I would have cravings and urges. And I would be eating my go to in that situations, usually chocolate. So I’d be eating chocolate. I was slowly gaining weight. And I had this underlying fear that I did not, I was gaining the weight and it was gonna come all back on. I knew…

Dr. Deb: I want to interject for one minute. This is really important because I know we’re going to talk about the model. So when you think about the model that your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings create your actions, and your actions create your results.

Julie: Yes.

Dr. Deb: That when you have the thought that you were afraid that it was going to come back on and it created fear. In your A Line, you were dealing with more urges. You were eating more chocolate, right?

Julie: I was overeating.

Dr. Deb: You were overeating. And the result was, is that your thought was you’re afraid you’re going to gain the weight back and your result was that you were.

Julie: Absolutely.

Dr. Deb: How did you change that?

Julie: How did I change that?

Dr. Deb: Yeah.

Julie: And that it has. It has totally transformed.

Dr. Deb: I know.

Julie: I went from that fear. And as we started, I started identifying that I have been lost a lot of my weight through fear and restriction. And not coming to true peace with food, that fear needed to go away and I had that fear. And it was all based on my thinking. And so I would see these examples of people that have lost weight and maintain weight, and they would all talk about how they lose weight, but then they gain weight, and then they lose weight, and then they gain weight. And it’s kind of like the seesaw that I did not want to be on.

Dr. Deb: And you could kind of see that that’s what was happening.

Julie: And that was happening that was starting to happen for me. I was slowly gaining weight.

Dr. Deb: Because of the way that you were thinking.

Julie: Absolutely. And I was thinking that it was hard. That’s exactly how people maintain their weight loss. That’s just the way my life is going to be but I refused for that to be the truth because through listening to your podcast and other things, I just knew that there was another way.

And as we started, what I realized was that I was thinking that I would gain my weight back. That was my thought. And it was pretty ingrained that you know, I didn’t have many examples around me of people that had taken their weight off and kept it off, struggle free.

Dr. Deb: And let me interject there. I want to interject there because I want everybody to see that when you think you’re afraid you’re gonna gain your weight back, and you have fear and you do all these actions that create it. Part of your result is that is what you see. It’s what you’re looking for.

Julie: That is, that’s what our mind is looking for.

Dr. Deb: That’s right.

Julie: That’s what we’re feeling. And then that’s what we’re going to do and I was eating.

Dr. Deb: Yeah. And so the other thing that I think is really important is that, I would say early on one of the things that we really worked on, this once we started talking about the fear that you had, we started talking about how it was really hard for you to feel negative emotion.

Julie: Oh yes, so true.

Dr. Deb: Right? And that through your whole weight loss journey and losing all that weight, that was something you never learned how to do, how to experience.

JuIie: I would repress it, you know, as a child even, you know. And depending on circumstances, and friends, and family, and your life, and how you think yourself. I didn’t want to show much emotion. And I would, I would repress pain a lot.

Dr. Deb: Why didn’t you want to show emotion?

Julie: Well, this was one of our wonderful coaching calls. And I realized that I would be weak to show emotion, really, and that was one of the more revealing coaching calls we had. That I realized that I was repressing my emotions. Because to embrace and engage those emotions, in the bottom of it showed weakness. And I think you had to, this is one of those times that you were so beautifully persistent with me. Because I didn’t want to get down there.

Dr. Deb: You never did. I mean, you spent your whole life not wanting to go down there. That’s why you were eating to begin with.

Julie: You layer them thoughts in. And it’s really hard to by yourself get down that far. And for me to realize, because I mean, I just thought I managed those feelings. That’s what I was really thinking was I managed those feelings.

Dr. Deb: By not feeling them?

Julie: Yeah, without feeling them. I managed by repressing them, right?

Dr. Deb: Yes

Julie: Not helpful. And so, as we talked, what I really realized was that, as we unlayered my thinking. And what I really thought was that for me to show negative, feel negative emotion within myself, I then labeled myself as a weak person.

Dr. Deb: I bet there’s people that can relate to that.

Julie: It’s not other people, not other people would see me as weak. I was labeling myself as a weak person. Oh my god, that just broke me open. And, you know, we, as we talked about those feelings to be, I realized that there were a couple of coaching calls where we dealt with some of my negative emotions. And you were such a wonderful, supportive coach in walking me through, going through negative emotion, and really feeling it.

I remember the first time I sat with the emotion, and it was gone within a minute. And I said to you, “I can’t believe it. It’s already gone.” And you know, I mean, I had read about negative emotions we feel— happy, sad, glad. You know any of them. They just flushed through our body very quickly. And in repressing them, and if flushed, and it was gone. I mean, it was like, it was gone. And I was sitting there in awe. And I remember saying to you, “I don’t believe this, by refreshing my emotions all my life, I have been creating more suffering for myself.” Because when I repress, it stays below the surface.

Dr. Deb: And another word for that is when you resist.

Julie: Yes. And it doesn’t go away. It stays.

Dr. Deb: Yep.

Julie: So then I eat, but it stays. And having these experiences of learning to allow my emotions has now taken me into such freedom and so much less pain.

Dr. Deb: Amazing. And you know, one of the things I want to talk about in the beginning, because I think this is really fascinating. Because in your food journals in the beginning, where you were having your most amount of urges was when you came home from work, right?

Julie: You were brilliant in that one.

Dr. Deb: And you were brilliant in that because you allowed yourself to go there. But you kept saying, you know, “When I come home, I am just so exhausted.” And I just, and you have these urges, and usually that’s when you would eat when you weren’t hungry. Right?

Julie: Exactly.

Dr. Deb: And what we found out from that is that you weren’t really physically exhausted.

Julie: No, it was such a revelation.

Dr. Deb: I know, you were emotionally exhausted. Do you want to say just a little bit about that? Because it really was huge for both of us. It wasn’t like a lot of people when they come home from work and they think they’re physically exhausted, they just want to relax with eating or drinking.

Julie: Oh, yeah. And it’s not that.

Dr. Deb: And it’s not that. So do you want to say just a little bit about at work and what your exhaustion was from and how you turn that around?

Julie: I do, because now, I don’t come home exhausted anymore.

Dr. Deb: I know.

Julie: I don’t come home needing to eat anymore.

Dr. Deb: I know. Can you say something about that? There’s somebody that would like that to hear.

Julie: Exactly. Because this is such a holistic process, and I had no depth of understanding and how holistic it is. So we were unveiling the evening eating.

Dr. Deb: Yep.

Julie: And when I come home, because I would just at times be frantic, I use the word frantic, that I need food right now. And so we started talking about work, and how I react at work. And as we talked about the work situation, I started sharing that I try to make people happy at work.

Dr. Deb: You thought that was your job.

Julie: That’s my job, to make people happy. And we all know that from customer service, and happy customer, and we got to make them happy. And we started talking about that. I recognize that we can never control what other people think, feel, say or do. And I recognize that on a cognitive level. But my actions were always, I’m trying to make people happy all day long. Whether it’s my boss, you know, one of my employees, a client, you know, whoever I’m working with. I’m trying to make them happy. And you said to me, “Well, that’s a tough way to live and never succeed.” And I thought immediately that’s like being on a hamster wheel. If we approach life that way, of course, I’m going to be exhausted at night.

So we talked about some thoughts that I could change it out with. And that’s the one thing that is so important in this work, it’s so individualized.

Dr. Deb: Yes.

Julie: Is that what thoughts I can have and that I can believe is different than the thoughts any of your listeners can think and believe.

Dr. Deb: That’s right. But I bet you there’s a lot of listeners out there that think they can make other people happy.

Julie: I know there are. Because usually, if there’s one of us, there’s many more of us.

Dr. Deb: Oh, yeah.

Julie: And so as we work through, a lot of different thoughts, we came up to, I will do my best. In all the work I do, I will do my best work. And I will do my job good. Or I will do the best I can do. And I switched my thinking overnight. This was one of those I didn’t have to ladder up, I immediately switched my thing that I will do my best.

Dr. Deb: Yeah, and the reason you could do that I think is like, when we saw the original thought that you know, “I just want to make other people happy” And you saw how it made you feel. Because it made you feel like you have all this pressure all day long.

Julie: Absolutely.

Dr. Deb: And as soon as you saw that model and you saw what it was creating, it was so easy for you to go well that like, almost you realize instantaneously that that’s not working. And you realize that all you were really trying to do was to do a good job in your work.

Julie: And I know I do a good job. I believe I’m good.

Dr. Deb: Yeah.

Julie: And so it was very easy, I believe the thought.

Dr. Deb: I know.

Julie: It was so easy for me to take over. And what was amazing, immediately my urges at night disappeared, and immediately I am less fatigued at night.

Dr. Deb: Immediately and it is amazing for people. I just want everybody to hear this and to see this, that the only thing your work stayed exactly the same. You went to work every day, just like you always did, doing the same thing you always do.

Julie: Same kind of problems, same kind of joys. Everything was the same. The circumstance did not change.

Dr. Deb: Yes, ma’am. So the only thing that changed was your thinking and that changed everything for you. In terms of nighttime urges and eating.

Julie: Absolutely. It changed my feelings during the day. It changed the way I interacted with people. And it totally transformed my evenings and my days, actually, it transformed my days too. One of the things that we were realizing because of those thoughts, those urges don’t wait ’til night. So I remember one of the times the biggest giggle we had…

Dr. Deb: What was one of the biggest giggles? Because we had a lot of giggles.

Julie: We had a lot of giggles. Was that, with that line of thinking, I would have urges mid morning. I would have urges mid afternoon. But by the time I got home, it had built up so high. That was a high level of emotion. And so I remember the one thing you said was, “Well, it sounds like the only meal that’s pretty good for you is breakfast.”

Dr. Deb: You know what, is that way for a lot of people. Who says well, “Breakfast is pretty easy” And that’s because you’re more, maybe you’re in a different space, when you start your day, then as you go through your day, and you’re not mindful.

Julie: Exactly. Well, you know, the emotions build as the day goes on if we’re not aware of our thinking. And we’re not aware of the emotions our thinking is creating.

Dr. Deb: And so you’re a perfect example of that, because so much has changed because of the recognition of your negative emotion. We’ve been talking a lot about negative emotion and how you’ve learned how to feel that. So the thing that I want to talk about now is that what I see so much in you and all the work that you’ve done is that you feel so much more joy in your life now too.

Julie: Oh, absolutely. And I think that’s one of the things is that we don’t realize the negative emotions and negative thoughts we have in the negative emotions. And one of the fun experiences with you is the joy exercise. And one of the weeks was the profound learning I had was how to create joy. Because we all know we want to be happier in life.

Dr. Deb: Right.

Julie: And the actual ability to take our minds and think of something that brings us joy. It takes a second. It doesn’t take very long at all. And to envelope that into my life, you know, now I have on my journal, you know, my daily log is what am I going to do to generate joy today?

Dr. Deb: Love that.

Julie: And really, it’s a thought. And then those thoughts just continued to repeat because feeling joy feels so good.

Dr. Deb: I know, and you, and like the joy worksheet, which is available to everybody on the podcast, it’s that it asks you a lot of questions. And then the end the result of doing this whole worksheet is that you realize that joy does not come from things. It comes from how you think about those things.

Julie: Right. And how you think about those things then changes how you do those things become more joy.

Dr. Deb: And so here’s the other thing that I want to say to you is that I think because you have allowed yourself to really feel the negative emotion. It has also allowed you to really feel more profoundly all the positive emotions.

Julie: Well, you know, I’ve read that time after time after time.

Dr. Deb: I know.

Julie: Of reading that stuff and hearing those things and truly experiencing them. To allow emotions, I think what it does is that I think that not only did I repress the negative emotion, I repressed positive emotion too. And learning how to sit with the emotion.

Dr. Deb: Yes, ma’am.

Julie: And the negative are the ones that, probably, are the ones that the most uncomfortable

Dr. Deb: Yes.

Julie: So you don’t realize that just that act of learning to sit with a negative emotion and allowing it to flow through your body, allowing the tears if there need to be there, allowing whatever we feel, allowing them to come through ways, really high ones. So I kind of liken it to an earthquake, when you’re really, really, really high on the emotional scale. It’s like an earthquake. You’ve got a high, tough, intense one. And then there might be some aftershocks.

Dr. Deb: I love that. We talked about that. Yeah, go ahead.

Julie: Yeah, they don’t last very long. They’re less than 10. They don’t last very long. You know, they’re gonna go through. And it might take you a day or so. It might take you a couple of hours. But then they’re gone. And you feel so much better. And so if I’m repressing the negative emotion, I’m also repressing the positive emotion.

Dr. Deb: Exactly.

Julie: And that same habit applies to pain and to joy. Whether it’s joy, happiness, I just love the word joy just like you do.

Dr. Deb: I do.

Julie: You know, to live a happy, fulfilled life. Isn’t that what we all want? And you know, you have the companion guide. You have all of the wonderful podcasts you have. I just go back for fun and listening, start at the beginning and go forward. Or pick something that seemed to be applicable to me for a certain period of time. And what I find is that I pick up something different each time.

Dr. Deb: Well, this is what I want to say about you. And I want everybody to hear this because this is a common theme around people who are really successful with working with me. Is with you I think the reason you have had all of these wonderful aha moments every single time is because I think you’re willing to do the work on a regular basis. It’s like, boy, every week you would send me an email that would be loaded with all the things that you’ve learned, what has happened, the study that you have done, and you put a lot of time into this.

Julie: Yes, but no one needs to be fearful of it because it’s not overwhelming.

Dr. Deb: Right. But tell me you did put a lot of time.

Julie: I did put time in. And I did put effort in. Because I knew if I was going to do this, I needed to put some skin in the game.

Dr. Deb: There you go. Go ahead.

Julie: And that might include, I guess the most profound one that took the most work was when we were working on the model. And I went and found every single one of your podcasts on the model.

Dr. Deb: That’s what I’m talking about like with you. It’s like you did the work. I mean, you just did the work. And, you know, once again, when you’re willing to go all in on yourself, and you told me that from day one.

Julie: Yep.

Dr. Deb: Day one. “I am all in. I’m going to do whatever it takes.” And you have done whatever it takes. And just like you’re saying, it’s like we talked about the model. You went and looked at all the podcasts that have that in it and you went and learned it and listened to it again and again. And I think that is the key. You can tell me where I’m wrong.

Julie: Not only that, but also being completely open and transparent with you. We talked about emotions and how fearful I am, and how I don’t want to feel them, and that I felt it was weak if I did those things. So it took a lot of a lot of changing in my thinking, to say, when I’m doing this coaching with you, you are going to get all of me. So once in a while, I want to cheat on that journal. “Oh, I don’t want to write that down. That means we’re going to be talking about that.” But I would say, “No, I’m going to be totally transparent. I’m going to tell you everything I think. If I have a feeling, I’m going to be vulnerable.” And it was not easy, but it paid off big time. I’m living in joy. I’m living knowing that I am never going to have problems keeping this weight off.

Dr. Deb: Oh gosh. And you know what, like you think like, for the first 54 years of your life, that wasn’t easy the way you were living?

Julie: Almost no, no, no, no, no.

Dr. Deb: Right. And so I’m thinking, the work that you’ve put in, in the last few years working on your own, and then working with me, is nothing compared to how much time you spent suffering.

Julie: And I’m so excited about the future. My friends look at me and go, “Oh, my goodness, what a difference.”

Dr. Deb: I know. I know. It’s like, in terms of like, I love the way that you look at your whole life is that you’re just so excited every single day and you’re so excited for your future.

Julie: Oh, yes. And it’s fun because I meet new people, and we’ll have conversations. And so, just a real brief story is that, I was teaching painting last night and one of the students, she just says, “Oh, I can’t get this. And I couldn’t get this.” And I stopped here and said, “We’re going to change that thinking right now.” And I said, “It’s like learning any new skill. It doesn’t come naturally right away. I said, “Remember when you learn cursive writing?” And they’re all going, “Oh, yeah, that was hard.” So I said, “Now you start thinking that I can learn how to do this. This may not be easy, but I can learn how to do it.” And then eventually, you’re going to change that, that you’re getting great at it, and you’re going to be fantastic at it. And so one of the other women said, “Yes, and I’m reading a book on how you have to tell yourself the truth.” And we had just such a fun conversation all about what our thinking does in our life.

And I mean, the mood of the room. I had five students. The mood of the room just started increasing, and they had fun visiting about it, and how it had impact. And this woman’s face changed immediately. All of a sudden, she was smiling. I saw her shoulders go back and you know, and calm down. She was then started breathing a little slower, she was less tense. And she was just then then she started having a lot more, you know, a lot more relaxed and knew that whatever she did the rest of the night was cool. And it’s just amazing how this affects all aspects of our life.

Dr. Deb: Isn’t that amazing? And so this is like what I want to end with what we’re talking about is on one of our calls, you had a butterfly that flew into your house, and which was really odd.

Julie: It’s never a winner. I live in Minnesota.

Dr. Deb: Yeah. And so I think the way that I would love to end this is just to talk about, you know, because a butterfly really is my logo and how do you relate to number one, that butterfly being in your house at that time? And then how do you relate to the butterfly? And that’s how I think I really want to end this is. I just want people to hear that from you, and why this is going to be your last time.

Julie: We were having a coaching call. And all of a sudden I saw something dark out of the corner of my eye and of course, you know, in a house, the first thing you think is a mouse.

Dr. Deb: Is that what you think? Okay.

Julie: Well, that’s what went through my mind. This dark spot kind of fluttered across my dining room. And because that’s where I was sitting when I was talking with you, and so of course, it distracted me and I’m sure you were wondering, “Why have I lost Julie in this conversation?”

Dr. Deb: That’s right.

Julie: And I’m standing up and I’m going over and here is this swallowtail butterfly. And it was flying. And it was gorgeous. It’s so beautiful. And I came back and I said, “You’re never gonna believe what happened. We have a butterfly in the house and it is flying around.” And so your cursor shared, you know, I mean, I’d love your logo, and I knew that butterfly was a very important part of your coaching. And we both got so excited. And it was so much fun to have that butterfly appear. And I right away said, “This is an example and a physical manifestation of my transformation with you.” And you said, “Oh, that is such a good thought.”

Dr. Deb: So good.

Julie: So it was. And as I’ve reflected on that, what I’ve realized is that through my journey and having done you know, quite a bit of work before I came to you, that I really felt like I was the butterfly in the chrysalis. That I had made it to the chrysalis stage, but I needed help coming out of that chrysalis. And now I feel that with you. I have totally emerged from the chrysalis and I am spreading my wings. And not only are they wings that are strong, but they’ve given me, I have the tools I need. The things I need, I know what to do. That when I have trouble, I have my tools. I have you. I know I can go back for coaching at any time when I need it. And I feel like those wings are not only strong and stable, but they are colorful and they are full of joy. So if you can just imagine a butterfly that is so colorful, and so vibrant, and so full of life. That is how I feel now.

Dr. Deb: You have transformed my darling.

Julie: And I thank you for taking me on this transformational, being with me on this transformational journey.

Dr. Deb: Well, I love you.

Julie: I love you.

Dr. Deb: I loved every minute of it. I love you too. And just if you don’t mind answering this question, Is this the last time you’ll ever lose weight again?

Julie: Absolutely. With no fear and 100% confidence.

Dr. Deb: Julie. It was a pleasure talking to you. I love you. Thank you.

Julie: You’re so welcome.

Dr. Deb: Well, I really loved this interview, but I have to tell you that we had a lot of internet problems. So fortunately, I have an unbelievable editor of my podcasts. Yay, Alan, thank you very much, who has put this together in a way that I know is gonna sound amazing. But you know, it may sound a little bit different than the sound from the beginning to the end because we had to switch how we were talking. But I do believe that we got what we wanted in this podcast, which is her mind, her mindset, and how she looks at her weight loss, how she looks at her life, and how she looks at food. It’s not the same.

And for a lot of you, I think you saw from her is that she lost a lot of weight, a lot more than you guys have to, and maybe not as much as some of you have to. But even losing the weight is not enough, if you don’t get your mind set. And she knew. And you can tell from this interview, she knew after she lost the weight that her work was not over. And it wasn’t so much of how to maintain the eating of the weight loss. But it was how to understand the mindset of the weight loss, and her body, and her feelings, and food.

And you can tell from this interview that this woman can feel her feelings now. And I believe after working with her that that was the main thing that really happened for her is that once she could feel her feelings, she didn’t have to eat anymore. And she wasn’t afraid anymore. Because she wasn’t afraid to feel her feelings, not that she wasn’t afraid of food. Food was never the problem. She was afraid of feeling.

I think it was one of the most unbelievable interviews that I did and one of the most unbelievable journeys that I’ve witnessed. I hope you enjoy it. And I’ll tell you what, she is, and she is a metaphor of a butterfly as she told you. And she is a prime example of why I called my program Thinner Peace, because she’s got it. If you want it, you know how you can get it too. You can always set up a mini session with me by going to drdebbutler.com/workwithme. And you can have what she had. And no matter what else you do, you know what I’m gonna say next. You gotta be, you got to be, you have got to be very, very kind to yourself. See you next week. Bye bye.

Dr. Michael Butler: I would like to invite you to correspond with Dr. Deborah. Go to iTunes, drdebbutler.com/itunes and you can review the show, and you can even give some helpful suggestions on what you would like to talk about in the future, to accomplish your mindfulness and your journey into mindfulness. Thank you.