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EPISODE 521

Ep. 521: The Summer of No — Why Saying No Is the Most Loving Thing You Can Do for Yourself

PODCAST EPISODE 521

I want you to stop calling it self-sabotage.

I hear it from my clients all the time — I know what I want, I made a commitment to myself, and then I blew it anyway. And they go straight to shame. What is wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you. But that word — sabotage — is keeping you stuck. Because it’s not sabotage. It’s indulgence. Your brain is trying to love you in the moment, even if it costs you everything you actually want. And there’s a way to work with that — but it’s not what you think.

This episode, I’m introducing what I want you to do in your practice this summer: The Summer of No. Not the Summer of Yes that everyone else is selling. No. Because I believe the most loving thing you can do for yourself right now is learn how to say no to yourself — the way a loving parent says no to a toddler running with scissors. Firm. Warm. Done completely out of love.

That’s tough love turned inward. That’s self-compassion that actually gets you somewhere. And once you understand the difference between punishing yourself into no and loving yourself into no — everything changes.

No means love in my world. I want it to mean love for you too. Enjoy the show!

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode

  • Why “self-sabotage” is the wrong word and what’s really going on when you break a promise to yourself
  • The difference between self-indulgence and self-compassion
  • How to say no to yourself from a place of love not punishment
  • Why urges shrink every time you don’t give in to them
  • The exact phrase to say to yourself the next time an urge hits