Ep 5 Mindfulness and Identifying Your Eating Styles to Help You Lose Weight

Thinner Peace in Menopause, Weight Loss and Beyond, Episode 5

Dr. Michael Butler: Hi, I’m Dr. Michael Butler and you’re listening to Thinner Peace in Menopause and Beyond with certified master weight loss coach, and my wife, Dr. Deb Butler. Episode five: Using mindfulness and another tool called The Four Types of Eating to help you lose weight.

Dr. Deb Butler: Hi there. So good to talk to you again. Well, we’ve been working together for about four weeks now, and from what I understand, I’ve gotten some lovely letters and some notes telling me that you’re starting to connect and that you’re starting to become aware, and I’m so proud and happy for you. And today, I’m going to share another tool that’s also going to help you become even more aware of what’s happening when you sit down to eat.

But first, I want to share a little bit more about the connection of mindfulness and menopause. Because I know you’re going through menopause, and I know you want all the information you can get. And I also know the most important thing to you-you think at this point-is to lose weight. But really, what I think you’re going to get out of all of this in the end is you’re going to become much more conscious of what’s going on in you and in your life at any given moment. And I think that’s really the best gift that you could give yourself and the best thing that you can learn.

So I want to talk to you about one of my teachers, Dr. Christiane Northrup. And I’m sure you’ve read some of her books or have seen her on Oprah. But she talks about menopause. Her perspective on menopause is so lined up with the way that I like to teach and how I understand the process, and why I think it’s so important right now. And one of the things that she says is, research into the physiological changes taking place in the perimenopausal and menopausal woman is revealing that in addition to the hormonal shift-that means an end to childbearing- our bodies, and specifically our nervous systems, are being quite literally rewired. There’s much, much more to the midlife transformation than raging hormones. And, “after working with thousands of women who have gone through this process, as well as experiencing it myself, I can say with great assurance that menopause is an exciting developmental stage-one that, when participated in consciously”-she says consciously-“holds enormous promise for transforming and healing our bodies, minds, and spirits at the deepest levels.”

Do you love that? I love it. And the reason I love it so much is because, what are we talking about? We’re talking about our minds, we’re talking about rewiring our brains, and we’re talking about being conscious. And you know what she’s saying? She’s saying that menopause, if you go through it consciously, can be the biggest transformation in your life. And that is why I’m helping you to really pay attention to your mind and your body. And we’re just using food because you do it so often. But not only will it help you lose weight, if that’s what you want, it’s going to help you know what’s going on inside of you at any given time.

I love how she brings the brain and the mind into this equation. And you know, that is what I talk about all the time. But I also want to give you a common definition of mindfulness, and it’s commonly described as non-judgmental awareness. And it refers to a specific practice of consciously paying attention to what is happening in your mind and body in the moment without judging it.

And every single week, I’m teaching you to use this exact mindfulness tool to help you heal your mind and your body. And according to Dr. Northrup, that’s exactly the purpose of menopause if you consciously choose to look at it that way. It is a time to heal your mind and your body. And I’m also teaching you this non-judgmental approach of observing yourself, right? So, there is no judgment, no punishment. You’re just seeing what’s going on, which is what you’ve been doing over the last four weeks. It’s just watching what’s going on, and I’ve given you tools as a way to help observe yourself. And the tools that I’ve given you so far is the physical hunger scale, where you can imagine this scale in your mind from a negative 10 to a plus 10. And you know that you start eating at a negative two, and you stop eating at a plus two-or at least you try. And you just notice where you are each time. And I’ve also given you the emotional hunger scale tool, which is another scale that you imagine in your mind that goes from a negative 10 to a plus 10. But this time, you’re deciding where your emotions are at, and you’re rating it when you sit down to eat also. So you always know where you’re at physically, how hungry you are. But you also know where you are emotionally. And sometimes what you may be seeing in yourself, is the reason I call it emotional hunger is because when you’re in the negative vibrations-from a negative 10 to a zero-those negative vibrations in your body can sometimes make you think that you’re hungry. And you are emotionally hungry. It’s just that food isn’t what’s going to make it feel better. And that’s what I’m trying to help you distinguish right now: the difference between those two. And even if you don’t know what to do with it, or you can’t change it, I think it’s wonderful that you’re becoming aware of it. And I think awareness is where all change starts. So, even if I didn’t tell you what to do, you would know that if your emotional hunger is really strong, like a negative eight-really strong-and your physical hunger scale is a plus two, and you’re sitting down to eat something, you at least are observing that there is no physical hunger and that you’re eating because of some very negative vibration in your body. And that is what we call consciousness; you’re becoming aware of that. And I believe just by noticing that, you can change. Have you seen that for yourself? I hope so.

So now, I want to add another tool for you to think about, to consciously put into your mind in your body every time you sit down to eat. And this is called the four types of eating. I love this tool because it helps your mind categorize why you’re eating. Because right now, you know that-how hungry your body is, and you know how emotionally hungry your body is. But now, you have this one new category that I’m going to teach you as to why. So remember, this tool that I’m teaching you now and all the tools that I’ve taught you so far, you can go and get on my website. I have my whole program there for you. Everything I talk about on these podcasts, all my homework, all my discussions are there for you to use. And it’s really my way of saying thank you for listening. But it’s also-I want to make it easier for you when you’re listening to me that you have something to follow. Because this is exactly what I do with my private clients too. And I want you to have that same benefit. All you have to do is go to drdebbutler.com/change, and you can get this program. And you can see the emotional hunger scale, you can see how it looks, you can get the physical hunger scale, and now you’re going to be able to get the four types of eating. And I’m going to explain that to you now, but when you’re through and you go get that, you can read it on your own because I think it takes a little bit of time for it to really soak into your mind. Just like measuring, having a scale in your head all the time, the more you use it, the easier it becomes. But in the beginning, it’s not that easy, and you really have to think about it. And of course, if you’re listening to me right now, or you’re downloading all these tools, and you still have questions about anything that I’m talking about, I want you to contact me at drdeb@drdebbutler.com. Any question you have about anything I’ve talked about so far, or anything I’m going to talk about, I’ll personally answer any of your questions. I really will. I’ll find it fascinating and it really helps me understand where you’re at and how I can even give you the information more thorough.

So here’s the four types of eating. They’re called types of eating because I want your mind to categorize why you’re eating at any given time.

This first category is called “fuel eating.” And fuel eating is sort of just how it sounds. It’s when you’re sitting down to eat, and you’re choosing nutritious foods to fuel your body. And what those nutritious foods are, I believe you know what they’re supposed to be. I think we all know the basic nutritious foods. But I think for everybody, fuel foods are a little bit different. But the basic reason when you’re choosing fuel foods is because you want to fuel your body. That is your main purpose, and that is exactly what you’re thinking, “How can I fuel my body?” It’s like you’re filling up your gas tank, and you’re choosing foods that are going to give you the best bang for your buck, so to speak. Sounds kind of funny, but that’s the way I look at it. Fuel eating is basically, I want you to consider this, 90% of your day. The more fuel you eat, the better you’re going to feel, the more healthy your body is going to be. Fuel eating is something you do consciously. It’s something that requires planning and forethought. And you really want to be eating fuel food, like I said, 90% of the time. And you use your fuel eating in accordance with your hunger scale.

So, let’s say you’re sitting down to eat lunch, and all the foods that you know you’re going to eat are fuel; they’re nutritious. And you’re also seeing where you are physically. And you’re seeing where you are emotionally. So, you would write down your physical hunger scale before and after. You would write down where you are emotionally, or you would just know, you don’t have to write it, you can just note where you are emotionally. And you can think in your mind categorically, I am fuel-eating because you’re choosing all nutritious food. And that’s basically what fuel eating is. And think of it as your car; you’re giving it the best gas it can so it can run efficiently. Your body needs fuel to run efficiently. So, this is what is foremost in your mind when you’re choosing fuel food, and remember what you think is so important to how you feel and what you eat, what you do. So, when you’re thinking, “I want to feed myself fuel food,” and you’re ready for it, you will feed yourself fuel food and you’re in that category.

So let me tell you another category. So we have fuel eating, there’s also another one called joy eating. Joy eating: my favorite category. My favorite type of eating. Why? Because for most of you, and for me, too, the thing I never wanted to do was to eat a food that wasn’t nutritious for me. I always felt bad about it. For me, my joy foods-Cheetos, potato chips, Fritos, french fries. Those are the foods that if I ate those, I would try to figure out how I didn’t have to pay attention to it because I considered it a bad food and shouldn’t be eating it. And I also thought, “Well, if I’m eating it, I might as well eat all I can of it. Because tomorrow I’m going to go on that new diet, and these foods are not on that. So I got to get it all in now.” Joy eating is not that. Joy eating is choosing a food that probably doesn’t have any nutritious value, but choosing to eat it on purpose, and enjoy every bite. And I’ll tell you the beauty of this type of eating is that when you choose a food that you do love and shouldn’t eat, and now decide that it is on the radar of a perfectly fine food to eat and enjoy, it makes all the difference in how it tastes. The rule-if there’s a rule about joy eating-is when you eat a joy food, you must enjoy every bite. So how much do you eat? Now, this is the key. You eat it until you’re through enjoying it. That’s it.

Now, a lot of my clients in the beginning look at me like I’m crazy because they think they’re never going to stop enjoying it, and they’re going to eat a whole cake or a whole pie or a whole bag of potato chips. I know. I know. I know. I know, I used to think the same way. I was the potato chip girl that had to eat a bag, couldn’t keep it in my house. And if it was there, I had to pour water all over it and throw it in the garbage can outside to make sure that I wouldn’t eat it. But things have changed a lot. And part of it has a lot to do with what I’m teaching you right now is that there’s nothing wrong, in my opinion, with eating non-nutritious foods. But I think if you’re joy eating, you’re joy eating 10 to 20% of your day, not 80%-and I think that’s the big difference. And when you’re eating a joy food, you are thoroughly enjoying every bite. And as soon as you’re through enjoying it, you stop. It does not even mean it’s a whole piece of cake. It could be a half a piece of cake. It could be a bite of cake. It’s really fascinating when you allow yourself to eat this, and you don’t have any negative thinking around it, and you allow your body and your mind to just enjoy it. Because I’ll tell you what, these foods were made to be enjoyed. Seriously, scientifically, made to be enjoyed and maybe even addicted to. But I believe you can control what you eat by what you tell yourself. This joy category, I think, is what changes feelings of deprivation and restriction when it’s allowed. I love this, and I can’t wait for you to try it.

Okay. So, so far I’ve talked about your joy eating, which is 10 to 20% of your day, and fuel eating, which is, I said 90%, but 80 to 90% of your day. Now, let me talk about the other two types of eating because that’s really where I want you to become very aware.

The third type of eating is called fog eating, and fog eating is when you eat without awareness. So, say you’re munching on chips without tasting them. Or you’re picking at your kids’ dinner while you talk to them. Or you have a big bag of candy, and the next thing you know, it’s all gone. Or, like me in the past, maybe even recently, going to the show, movie theater, with a bag of popcorn, and the popcorn is gone while you’re watching the movie, and you go to get that-more popcorn and it’s just gone. It disappeared. Where did the popcorn go? You weren’t paying attention. I wasn’t paying attention. That’s fog eating. Fog eating is like when you’re cooking, and you’re eating and cooking, and eating and cooking. That’s what fog eating is. You’re not paying attention. You’re really not in your body at all. Fog eating is what you want to avoid. But before you can avoid it, you got to know you’re doing it. So, like I’ve said in the past, first you have to become aware. Fog eating is something to become aware of. Because if you’re wearing extra pounds on your body, I would say it’s mostly due to not staying in your body when you’re eating or fog eating.

Now there’s another type of eating that also is one that you want to avoid but also one that you first want to become aware of. And that’s called storm eating. And storm eating is binge eating, or it’s out-of-control eating, and it’s any time you feel like you just can’t stop yourself. You’re aware you’re eating, and you want to stop. But you feel as if you cannot stop; you cannot control your own impulses. Sometimes, this happens when we let ourselves get too hungry, and we’re starving. You know, when our physical hunger scale gets like below a negative five. And I’ve talked to you a little bit about that before that when you wait too long to eat, your body becomes very, very compulsive, so that it’s very hard to stop at a plus two. And that’s one of the ways that storm eating can happen. And, also, another way that you know that you’re in storm eating is usually it’s always followed by regret and shame. And many times, storm meaning is done in private, and it’s done in hiding. You don’t want anybody else to see it. So it’s always important when you’re noticing what’s going on with you. When you’re with other people, you tend to eat the way you think you should, like you’re performing. But if you’re not around other people, then you decide to get behind your own back and eat in a storm-like way. And you know that you’re doing it, but you just don’t know how to stop. But you would never do that in front of somebody else. It’s really a fascinating thing to watch in yourself. And at this point, I don’t want you thinking anything or judging or being hard on yourself, because like I’ve told you, is if you’re storm eating, you already are probably noticing that regret and shame are what tend to follow. So, for now, I just want you to be aware of it; that if you see that, you could go, “That’s what Dr. Deb was talking about: that storm eating. I was storm eating.” I just want you to observe it. I just want you to wrap your mind around what you’re doing. You know, like how Dr. Northrup was talking about this consciousness? About just choosing to become conscious.

And that’s what I’m asking you to do with these four types of categories, is just to see what you’re doing, label what you’re doing, and then let it go. It’s just the observation. And that observation of no-judgment is called mindfulness. That’s what you’re doing. You see all these things that are starting to come together a little bit for you? I hope. Because I think these tools are so good for helping you to become conscious-mind and body.

Okay, so this is a lot of information, I know. But I want you to take these four categories now and I want you to add it to your emotional hunger and your physical hunger. And this is going to give you more information of what you do and why you do it. And really, we’re just using food to learn what goes on inside of us-we’re observing ourselves. And remember, you are fascinating, right? Fascinating. And you must observe yourself in this light. You can’t use judgment, and you can’t use punishment. It’s so enlightening to really find out why we do what we do. And since most of my private clients come to me with the exact question of, “Why do I do what I do? Why do I overeat when I want to be thin?” I know you think I have all the answers, but actually, I’m helping you find out all your answers, because they’re inside of you for you to find out. I’m really just the navigator of helping you learn your own mind and body because you really do have all the answers inside of you. And that’s really empowering that you are your best teacher.

So, this week, ladies, I really want you to practice, practice, practice. And remember, if you want to get a free copy of my complete program with all the tools, homework, and discussions that I’m using in these podcasts-and I use it with all my private clients-all you have to do is go to drdebbutler.com/change. And this will make it even easier for you to follow along with me on future podcasts. Until next week, practice, become compassionate, and become aware. Because all the answers are inside of you. See you next week.

Dr. Michael Butler: To get a free copy of Dr. Deb’s companion workbook with all the tools homeworks, and discussions that she uses in our podcasts with our private clients. Please go to drdebbutler.com/change. This will make it even easier to follow along with her in future broadcasts.