Ep 127 The Scale is Just a Circumstance

Have you decided to stop weighing yourself even though you’re trying to lose weight?

In this episode, I read a beautiful heartfelt letter from a listener who has had a lot of success and awareness using my tools.

She also got my attention in how she referred to the scale, as if it might be a problem.

Listen in as I talk about the scale. You might be surprised! The more aware you become of your thoughts around the scale, the more weight you actually might be able to lose.

Here is her letter:

I have struggled with weight my entire life (well, since I was 12). I am an over achiever. That means I do really really great losing weight, and I do EVEN BETTER putting it right back on.

I’ve refused to diet for the last 6-7 years because I felt as if each rebound became progressively worse. So I decided to stop until I could find something that came naturally and wasn’t forced. I’ve tried it all, Weight Watchers, Slim Genics, Paleo AIP, Thyroid meds… all of it worked for a few pounds and then stopped. I could force some of them to work longer, but stopped after I realized it was not really the diet but my self-control that was the driving force – that which always seemed to have an expiration date.

And then YOU finally came along and have changed my life. I’ve power-listened to 70 episodes over the past 12 days (like I said, I am an over achiever, ha ha) and yes the weight is finally coming off. I don’t know how much, and I don’t care. I’ve also refused to define myself by the scale, so haven’t been on it in 6 months… but I can tell my figure is looking better which is all that matters.

Being over weight was always my biggest nemesis, meaning I always thought ‘If I could just be skinny, I’d be happy.’ And, yes I will also admit that the few times I was a size 4, I was still unhappy. HUH go figure, right?!?! After listening to you, I’ve come to see that weight was really not my biggest nemesis. My inability to control my own thoughts were really what was causing more trouble than my cravings. Cravings are really just a teeny weeny, little side effect.

I want to share my biggest success with you which isn’t about weight at all. I am easily irritated, agitated, frustrated – call it what you want – if things are not going perfectly, I often times ‘lose it’ emotionally by getting upset which involves lots of screaming, foot stomping, arm flailing and plenty of cussing — you get the picture! BUT I’ve finally learned now how to identify this as simply a negative vibration from the ‘little kid in my brain running around with a knife’ as you say. So this morning, I wasn’t feeling good (sore throat and a bit of nausea) but had an appointment with a client. First, I couldn’t find my keys and then once I finally switched all my stuff into my other car and got on the road, about a mile down the road had to come back for something I forgot. I hate being late and usually one set back is enough to upset me, but three in a ROW means I’m a HOT MESS! Normally, there would be lots and lots of negative vibrations and all while telling myself how ‘imperfect I am and that I need to do better.’ But THIS morning, I was able to just say to myself… ‘It is what it is, I am going to choose not to get upset.’ And I didn’t have a single negative vibration, nobody got yelled at, my arms did not flail, my feet did not stomp and my mouth did not cuss. It was so amazing to feel calm in that situation and finally take control of my own thoughts. That is a big deal. A very, very big deal.

I have to say I think the self-compassion aspect of your teaching is the most important aspect. There are so so many awesome tools, but I feel this is the most important. I always felt like I was successful because of this need to be ‘perfect’ was what drove me. But it caused so many other negative emotions and side effects in my life – weight is just one of them.

I’d also like to report that in just a few short days (12), my brain is already re-wired to stop and listen when I have a craving. I’m really starting to understand what the negative two feels like. It is amazing – just amazing – how great I feel. I’m not even taking my supplements that I used to literally stuff down my throat to help with my ‘mood.’ Like you said, ‘I always had the power’ and I have finally found it!

I’ve learned so so much – the least of which is about weight loss even though that is what drew me to begin with. I told a friend at lunch (who is one of many I’ve shared your podcasts with)… Listen, I now know 2 things every day: 1) I won’t be hungry the rest of the day and 2) I will get to indulge in a food I absolutely love. That is powerful.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! from the bottom of my heart for making this podcast. I know my family appreciates it, too. I just hope it’s not too late for me to teach my 17 and 14 year old children how to correctly deal with negative thoughts because unfortunately I haven’t been a great role model up until this point. I know it’s not too late, because I’m 45 and just learned myself!

Enjoy the show!

To get your free copy of the Thinner Peace in Menopause and Beyond Podcast Companion please go to https://drdebbutler.com/change. This will make it even easier to follow along with me on future podcasts.

If you like what I’m talking but think you need more guidance, I am offering a free consultation to my listeners to answer any questions you might have about anything I’ve talked about. Just go to https://drdebbutler.com/mini-session.

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