You Can’t Hate Yourself Thin!
Well, you can try, but I know from my own personal experience and that of dozens of my clients who have tried for years…
IT DOESN’T WORK!
Most of my clients are wonderful parents. They tell their children uplifting, encouraging things and shower them with love and affection. This is how they show that they LOVE their kids.
Why is it that they seem to do the exact opposite when it comes to themselves?
They think their kids can’t take the abuse, but they themselves can. And they believe that somehow, all of this extra abuse and hate will whip them into shape, making them thinner and happier in the process!!
And you should know that my clients are brilliant, highly-educated women. I kid you not!
Hate Doesn’t Work
But if this “special” technique really was effective, it would have worked by now! Neither myself nor my clients would have suffered for all these years.
They call themselves names like “big fat pigs” and “stupid lazy idiots” in hopes of improving their bodies and ask everyone to hide the food around which they think they cannot control themselves.
They deprive themselves of food and put themselves on crazy workout regimens in hopes of achieving thin, healthy bodies, which will lead to happy lives.
If this all sounds ludicrous when you read about it as an observer, but you know you do these things as well, then I have some homework for you:
Try to step out of your mind for a minute and become the observer of your own situation. When you catch yourself feeling low on self-esteem, figure out what it is you’re thinking.
Remember that if you’re feeling bad, it’s because you’re thinking something negative about yourself. Pause and ask yourself, “Is this mean thought really true?” “Will this hate actually help?” “Would I say this to my child?”
This is called mindfulness, or consciousness. You are paying attention to your mind and deciding what thoughts you will believe.
By taking this moment to pause and reflect, you may be able to see that you’re using your strategic meanness in hopes of helping yourself.
How would you react if a friend said something mean to your beloved child? You would intervene on your child’s behalf. Now it’s time to stop the bullying and intervene on your own behalf.
This is called self-love.
Being kind to yourself works — try it out for yourself!
Peace,
Dr. Deb
