What do you mean by that?
I work with a lot of clients who they think they are mind readers.
They think they know what other people are thinking.
For instance… one of my beloved clients (I know I say that about all my clients – it’s because I DO love them all!) said her significant other gave her a funny look one day. She knew what he was thinking.
Since most of our suffering comes from our own heads (and what they make up)… it becomes very important to clarify the things people say to you when you’re not completely sure what they mean. If you don’t ask, YOU will make something up and believe it as the truth (which it’s not!), and it’s usually not a pretty picture.
This beloved client of mine keeps the following quote on sticky notes just in case… Whenever she is not crystal clear on what someone means… she just asks: “What do you mean by that?”
The beauty of this quote is that it keeps our communication clear and stops us from making up painful stories.
When I’m coaching clients and they’re telling me a painful story, I will usually ask: “Is that exactly what he said?” Usually, the answer is, “No, but that is what he meant.” I will then ask, “How do you know?”
Answer? “Oh, believe me I know!”
Finally, I ask my clients, “When did you learn to read minds?”
If you think you’re a mind reader then I would like to leave you with this quote from Byron Katie, “There are only three kinds of business in this world: your business, other people’s business, and God’s business. The only business that you have any control over is YOUR business!”
Most of us spend a lot of our time in other people’s business, believing we know what they’re thinking and what they really need, or in God’s business, knowing what she’s thinking. Either way, it distracts us from our own business (our own minds), which is the only thing we CAN control.
Whose business are you in?
